The Week of Farewells

heidi-montag-crying

What a sad week this has been! So many goodbyes! Lauren leaves The Hills, Jay Leno leaves the Tonight Show, The National Enquirer suggest Brad and Angelina have split, Heidi and Spencer leave I’m a Celebrity to quickly try to return-I’m exhausted just trying to catch up with of this moving and shaking! But there is something else that has irked me this week as I sit here with no cable and limited stolen Internet. And of course, it is the only thing that continues to entertain me day in and day out- the Gosselin family. My heart seriously bleeds for what I once wanted to be my adoptive family. Today, reports surfaced that U.S. Weekly has had Jon and Kate on their cover for the past six weeks! Never has that happened before with any subject.

 

This week, Kate took her kids to the beach. And after I stopped crying because a woman who has had two sets of multiples still has a better bikini body than I do (yes, I know she’s had a tummy tuck, but still she was rocking some serious abs!) I read this in US Weekly about what an awful mother she must be. “When Kate sat on the edge of the pool, she told one of [the twins], ‘If you splash me, you’re dead meat,'” vacationer Ann Michele Sweeney says. “She was not joking at all.” *Shudder* How could you say such a thing Kate! The nerve! Back in the day, I had friends whose parents literally bent them over and smacked them around with a belt. Parents don’t like to get splashed by their bratty children. Hell, I don’t like to get splashed by bratty children. This is just getting absurd.

 

The article continues: “Another vacationer, Kim Kirsch, tells Us that “Everyone that’s encountered her says she’s been rude, mean and hateful.” Well vacationer Kim Kirsch, I have news for you. If the media went deep into the files of your life and pulled out your HIGH SCHOOL picture, where you are wearing a blouse that looks like an apron and your hair is in a different zip code, you would probably be rude, mean and hateful as well. I have school pictures where I legit have a unibrow, and god help whoever may one day try to unearth them from my vault.

 

I mean seriously! The glasses! Oy. I would be bitter for the rest of my life if I had to wear these in my early womanhood! I also find it amusing that everyone thinks Kate has changed sooo much. Look around the world—about 86% of mothers get their hair dyed, go tanning and probably look better than they did in high school-that’s what happens when you have the money to take care of yourself. The minute I hit it big (or marry into it-my current life goal) you can be damn sure I’ll be getting my hair frosted every six weeks.

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