Just Call Me Xena the Warrior Princess

There is someone in Hollywood who I am really sick of hearing about. And her name, is Megan Fox. Now, I understand that celebrities have to promote their own movies every once in awhile, but with her promotion of Transformers 2, I am led to believe that Megan Fox might actually be the dumbest specimen on the planet.

Let me preface this by saying that in the beginning, it wasn’t Meggie’s fault that I was tired of hearing about her. The media has constantly promoted Fox to be exotic and not afraid to show her sexuality. Mehhh not so much. If you call being exotic having brown hair instead of the rest of the bleach blondes in Hollywood than I minus well just change my name to Xena the Warrior Princess, because I could be considered just as exotic as Meggy Poo. And if by saying she is sexual you mean she likes to wear toddler clothes, than sure, she’s sexual. She also dates David Silver.  Enough said.

But lately, it is Fox’s interviews that really drive me up a wall and her “I don’t give a shit attitude.” Her behavior is reminiscent to the badass in middle school who failed classes on purpose to show people how much he didn’t care. She is the retarded badass on the playground who tries to prove how badass-y (yes, I just created a new word) she really is because deep down, the girl’s got not much left to bring to the table in terms of talent.

Below are the three clips from recent interviews (I could do this all day, but Oprah comes on at 4 so I’m really on strict deadline) where I literally want to smack Megan Fox upside her head.

 -In an interview with Esquire Magazine, Fox says she doesn’t want to be like Scarlett Johansson. “I don’t want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against — but I don’t want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I’ve ever learned to prove, like, ‘Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.’ I don’t want… to do that.”

 News flash…not many people do take you seriously, you are known for playing a supporting role to a ROBOT. A robot made by a computer. So perhaps you should bust out the flashcards, it can’t hurt.

-Fox trot’s thoughts on people comparing her to Angelina Jolie: “It’s a lack of creativity on the media’s part,” she tells Entertainment Weekly. “Because I have tattoos and dark hair and I was in an action movie? That’s as far as the similarities extend.”

Oh, I’m sorry. Poor you! Someone has compared you to a humanitarian, decent actress and winner of countless awards. Gosh, you’re life is really hard. Though she has something right as she continues, “I’m not the next anyone.” I couldn’t have said that one better myself.

-On being known for her looks, she tells EW: “It doesn’t bother me. I don’t know why someone would complain about that. That just means that the bar has been set pretty low. People don’t expect me to do anything that’s worth watching. So I can only be an overachiever. I think all women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. That’s what our purpose is in this busi¬ness. You’re merchandised, you’re a product. You’re sold and it’s based on sex. But that’s okay. I think women should be empowered by that, not degraded.”

Again, I think I have to disagree. People usually talk about your looks when nothing else impresses them. That is the equivalent to meeting someone terribly unattractive and stupid at the same time so that you have nothing else to describe them as then “nice.”

Though after all this bitching I won’t lie, I plan to go see Transformers 2. Because I think the yellow robot is adorbs, and I feel certain that one of these machines will knock Megan Fox on her ass at least once, which will be worth the $27.34 it is to see a movie in New York.


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