Valerie Bertinelli Lands on the Moon…I Mean, Runs a Half-Marathon

If there is one thing that irks me more than usual on a Monday morning is when celebrities decide to do something remotely athletic, and the media makes is seem like they just landed on the moon. For example, today’s groundbreaking story from People:

PEOPLE EXCLUSIVE

Fit & Trim Valerie Bertinelli Finishes Half-Marathon

Hmm…ok first of all, this is exclusive news? Did she carry an orangutan on her back for 13.1 miles? Oh she didn’t? She just ran, like the other 5,000 plus runners that did the race? Well, maybe she only has one leg. What’s that you say? Oh she has two legs. Well, good for her.

After finishing the race, Bertinelli said, “My legs are killing me, but I think I’m so high and excited and full of pride – which is an unusual thing for me! – that I probably won’t feel it for a couple days,” says the actress, 49. “I am in amazement. I can’t believe what a body can do if you believe in it.” Believe it sister. Apparently you aren’t the only one who believes it, as the world’s largest half marathon in England has an expected 52,000 runners this year. Looks like the cat is out of the bag.

I’m very happy Val decided not to be a fat ass anymore, really I am. That’s great because when I am 49 I can assure you, I will be putting down the free weights and picking up the Hostess cupcakes. But I mean-she was paid to lose weight…so really let’s not roll out the red carpet yet.

Next on Val’s list is to run a full marathon before she turns 50. She better hop to it…that is slightly different than running a half, because, you know it’s double. I’m sure she will be wearing a spandex Jenny Craig running suit for all the world to envy.

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